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Photo illustration: Strategist. Photo: Getty, Joe McKendree
If you’re like us, you’ve probably wondered what celebrities put in their carts every day, like hairspray and electric toothbrushes. We spoke to musician and comedian Tim Heidecker, whose new album Slipping Away will be released next month, about guitar picks, podcasts, and essential underwear.
I’m a big carbonated water drinker. I think I probably drank too much. As a former smoker, there’s something special about the sensation in your mouth. I like the Waterloo black cherry flavor. I like that it’s easily available. I go on tour a lot and it’s on my rider. However, I have a complaint. If you order online, you’ll usually get one or two cans with the bottom blown out. We would like to start a campaign to help change canning processes to address this issue. They’ve been mastering the art of pop canning for 50 years now, so they have no idea what’s going on.
When I’m doing stand-up, playing music, or touring with Eric, I don’t really prepare or warm up. But one of the rituals is hot tea with honey. This is another thing on the rider. It’s so delicious that I just drink it as a drink, but I also scream and yell and make noise a lot, so that lubricates things. This is the industry standard and, as far as I know, the go-to cup of tea for singers. It’s a rare product that delivers on its promise. It coats your throat.
I remember when iPods and portable music first came out, wireless headphones were a dream of mine. The wires are driving me crazy. Things always get tangled, break, and all sorts of things happen. It took a few generations for AirPods to become great, but the current AirPod Pros work like crap every time. It’s comfortable. I panic when I can’t find my device, but thanks to Find My Device, I’ve never lost it. It’s often very hard to get real peace and quiet on the road, but they give it to you. Sometimes I don’t listen to music or anything, I just turn on music and the world cancels out a little bit. It will stay charged forever. Perfectly designed. I also get fidgety so I like to play with the case.
-Guitar picks are not available at CVS or Bodegas. You need to go to a guitar center or music store. But if you don’t wear them when you should, you’re out of luck. So years ago I bought a bunch of them online. They always end up in the laundry room or under the couch. They are all over the house like little dust mites. I like to throw them at the audience at the end of the show. This is a very rock and roll move. When I saw The Who a few years ago, I went backstage and saw Pete Townshend holding a pick that said “Pete Townshend.” Maybe Fender will read this and offer a custom pick. Mr. Fender, please send me various things. I play a Fender Strat. I’m a Fenderman. If Fender is willing to send me something, I’d love to have the opportunity.
These are the sweets I always buy when I go to CVS or a convenience store. It’s just a fun snack. We have everything we need – a little chocolate, a little candy, a few nuts. I also like the peanut butter ones and the pretzel ones. They do a great job at M&M’s and are top performers over there. I used to love Reese’s Pieces, but when we were making “Awesome Show” many years ago, we were so obsessed with Reese’s Pieces that the PA would put a big bowl on set. Eventually, I couldn’t taste Reese’s Pieces anymore. It became like wax in our mouths. As I got older, I didn’t have to explore as much. I know what I like, I like my routine, and there’s always something that brings me joy. When I go to the movies, I buy peanut M&M’s and popcorn and put the M&M’s inside the popcorn. It’s perfect.
I think it may have been Eric who led me to these 20 years ago. We all worry about underwear and struggle to find the right one. I often had issues with chafing with certain cuts of underwear, but once I found this particular cut and brand, I loved everything about it. I love the simplicity of the fit. I have 15 pairs in my drawer, and when I go on a trip, I grab them all and throw them in my suitcase. I’m about to put on my socks and go there. My socks situation is a mess, but my underwear is stable. Something I’m starting to think about while touring and traveling is wearing underwear two days in a row. I realized that after a day it was still okay. These look totally great. So I might start packing less. Not so much that underwear takes up space, but still.
I saw an ad for this brand on Instagram 4-5 years ago, and it was extremely offensive and not my style of ad. But when I was in St. Louis last summer, I forgot my shorts. It was very hot so I went to a department store and found this on the shelf. When I try it on, it fits perfectly. I’m wearing it now. The waist has elastic, so it feels okay even if the middle part stretches or contracts. I misjudged the brand. My first impression was wrong. I hate the name, but I love shorts. There are a lot of thighs, but it’s okay. You have nice thighs.
I’m a baseball fan. I’m a Dodgers fan. I also follow the Phillies because I grew up a Phillies fan. Baseball’s regular season includes games every night, and teams play 162 games each season. It’s incredible. What people don’t understand about baseball is that it’s like the Tour de France. Endurance is like half the sport. That’s great because there are always games going on in the summer. I listen to this app every day during baseball season. If I’m traveling on the East Coast and I’m on the West Coast, I’ll wear this to bed. The app has many issues and is not perfect, but this is all we have. There is a big difference in audio levels between broadcasts and commercials. So they would go on a break and Kars4Kids would lash out at me.
When I meet my fellow YouTube Premium members, we’re so proud to be a part of this club. This is a streaming service that we simply cannot compromise on. YouTube has it all. There’s too much shit and too much content to be beside yourself. I’m a history buff, and the other day I watched the JFK assassination live on CBS News. It was a 4 hour broadcast. I watched the Rolling Stones’ Steel Wheels press conference. It’s a great library of lost cultures. And I love Sam Seder’s morning political show, Majority Report. It’s just something I put in the background. If you don’t see a movie or TV show you want to watch, open the algorithm and you’ll find Howard Stern clips, amp reviews, pedal reviews, and Seinfeld clips. That’s a nice way to spend a few minutes.
Anyone can get something like this, but the reason you pay is because the ads keep showing up. There are no advertising fees. If someone plays me something on YouTube and they don’t have premium, I’m shocked. Why am I seeing an ad for male plastic surgery or something?
Jokermen started as a Bob Dylan podcast, but now features other artists as well. They’re really smart and funny people, and it’s like hanging out with a few cool, funny guys with good taste. It got me interested in a lot of good music that was within the range of what I already liked. A History of Rock Music in 500 Songs has a completely different vibe. In each episode, he tells a story about music and culture through song. They’re always great, really well made, really well researched. Provides context for what I already love. It’s great to see so much independently created entertainment these days that we can support directly, rather than relying on executives like Max. A little self-promotion: I’ve been using Patreon for Office Hours for three years, and I’m a big believer in subscriber-based, independent media.
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