(Life is a Gas – Photo Illustration – MetroCreativeConnection)
A few years ago, I was having drinks with my friend Lyle at the Greenbrier after a golf outing. We talked about family. Lyle was going through something. Years ago, his fiancée said to him on New Year’s Eve: “I don’t love you anymore.” She broke off the engagement. Lyle was devastated.
he said: “Greg, when my fiancé left me, I had no idea at the time that it would be the best thing to happen to me. Otherwise, I would never have met the love of my life. And now I wouldn’t be able to have two wonderful children.”
Most people don’t like adversity. I don’t. But I’ve learned that the greatest success comes after adversity. Lyle didn’t realize that his fiancée wasn’t the love of his life. It took adversity and Lyle overcoming it for him to find the love of his life.
Our soccer team ended the high school season at Beckley with a 1-0 win in the Boys A-AA championship game last weekend. The only reason I’m sharing this with you is to share some lessons learned that may be helpful to you. Outside of 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic, this season has been the most unique season I have ever coached. It was like three different seasons.
In their first seven games, they won only one, lost three and drew three. We only scored 5 goals. The opponent’s score was 11. It wasn’t a winnable start.
We won our last seven games, including the state championship, scoring 31 points and allowing just one goal.
What happened between the first seven games and the last seven games changed everything.
Our senior year students decided in August that their dream was to win a state championship. As a coach, I didn’t mention the championship at first because of the way we play. This was a young and inexperienced team. They needed to be developed.
Coach Joe has adjusted our training and the formations we play to suit the skill level of our current players. Joe and two other assistant coaches moved players around until they found the best spot. Coach training has improved the players’ fitness levels and improved their skills. I modified the players’ heads. To be successful, they had to believe in themselves, their coaches, and their teammates. I worked with them after practice. Coach Joe and I worked to develop our senior captains into strong leaders.
In nature, success always requires struggle. The caterpillar struggles to come out of the cocoon. It is a struggle to develop their powers so that they can emerge from the cocoon as a butterfly. The mother sea turtle emerges from the water and lays her eggs on the beach, away from the water. When baby sea turtles hatch, they have to crawl through the sand. In order to go to the sea, young sea turtles struggle while being exposed to predators. As they crawl to the sea, their young muscles develop and they become able to swim.
As a young corporate engineer, I was in charge of sales for a new product line. For six months, I was in charge of marketing, calling prospects and making cold calls to the office. For 6 months all I heard was “no,” “I’m not interested” “Not now.” It was depressing. I became a rejection specialist. I made follow-up calls without success.
Eventually, the seeds planted by my many office phone calls began to bloom. Finally, I got my first sale and more sales followed. It was a long struggle to overcome adversity and ultimately achieve success. The mental strength I developed has helped me in many ways.
As a coach, you can’t plan for adversity to come into your season even if you wanted to. He can play a difficult schedule to prepare his team for the postseason. This year, it meant playing four of the top five AAA schools in the state and losing all four games. We played against a team that we knew was going to be a physical match. It was important for our players to develop mental strength as well as physical strength. We were behind in the match, but we came back and won. The boys learned not to give up even if they were late.
The struggle to overcome adversity in the middle of the season turned into confidence with seven games remaining. We took more shots and scored more goals. The boys grew in confidence and developed a true belief that a state championship was possible. They won the regional championship 2-1 in overtime in a very physical game. In the state semifinals, they faced the team they tied in the regular season. The boys put it all together, with six different players scoring on their way to an 8-0 victory. They continued with the faith and confidence they learned from adversity and successfully made it to the state championship game to achieve their dreams.
My friend Willie Jolly wrote a book. “A setback is a setup for a comeback.” Good reading! Setbacks are temporary. In other words, we haven’t quit. Setbacks and adversity will happen. The person we vote for doesn’t always win. It has been like this since the founding of our country. True Americans understand that no matter who wins, we move forward. We cannot protect ourselves and our children from adversity and setbacks. They will go through a breakup. they will lose the match. When our players make mistakes on the field, we “Don’t lie on the ground. Get up and fix it.”
Many life lessons can be learned through sports. Players cannot cry or complain after a bad loss. They have to shake hands with the person who defeated them. The past is the past. You can’t change that. We can only learn from it.
Some thoughts.
* Adversity and setbacks are a normal part of life.
*The past is the past. Let’s learn from it. Leave me alone.
* Adversity makes us stronger and better. Choose not to give up and move forward.
*Take responsibility for failures and results. Don’t blame others. Taking responsibility means being in control.
* We cannot protect people from adversity. Help them learn and move forward.
Thoughts to ponder.
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Greg Kozera (gkozera@shalecrecentusa.com) is the Marketing Director for Shale Crescent USA. He is a professional engineer with a master’s degree in environmental engineering and over 40 years of experience in the energy industry. Greg is a leadership expert, high school soccer coach, professional speaker, and author of four books and many published articles.
