On Thanksgiving Day this year, there was an empty seat at Irena’s table in New York.
Irina and her husband chose not to share the holiday with her brother, who is a fan of Donald Trump.
“I couldn’t bear the thought of him sitting at the table gloating about Trump’s victory,” Irina said. They decided to avoid “the verbal outburst that would occur if the husband pushed back.”
With the holiday season in full swing, millions of families across the United States are wondering how to navigate disagreements at family gatherings after a year divided by politics and presidential campaigns. will be decided.
The election divided the American people down the middle. On November 5, Trump received 77.3 million votes, or 49.9% of the popular vote, while Kamala Harris received 75 million votes, or 48.4%. Additionally, according to a 2023 Pew survey, 61% of Americans say political conversations with people they disagree with are “stressful and frustrating.”
I love them as family but it’s so hard to see through their eyes
Chet, 67, Massachusetts
This week, Irena and her husband opted for a “delayed friend gift” with just her mother-in-law and two close friends, which is a less painful conversation.
Other families plan to institute a “no politics or religion” rule during the festive period.
Ann, a 55-year-old accountant from Pennsylvania, says she and her immediate family are the only Democrats in her family, and “we’re told that if we start talking about politics, our family will leave the festivities.” spoke. Descendants of Trump-supporting Republicans. They have been operating since 2016 under a contract that does not include any political conversations.
But this Thanksgiving, the conversation turned to politics and Trump, “and I got my coat,” she said. When her sister realized that Anne was serious, she changed the subject, and Anne remained. “Religion and politics, we don’t discuss it anymore,” she said.
Anne said her brother has fallen down the rabbit hole and frequently posts on Truth Social. “It’s sad. He and I were very close and I don’t know who he is anymore and he doesn’t talk to any of us.”
One in five Democrats say Trump supporters are the “enemy,” compared to 16% of Republicans who say they are “compatriots (Americans) with whom they disagree politically.” Harris supporters say she is the “enemy,” an October New York Times/Siena College survey found.
Hector (22), a California resident who supports Trump, has a family divided into conservatives and liberals.
Recently, some visiting relatives were “moaning Trump’s victory like it was the end of the world,” she said. He disliked comments such as “the bullet should have landed,” referring to the assassination attempt on the former president in July.
It became more difficult to keep my late father in check as the years went by.
Helen, Tennessee
Hector said the gathering became “heated” and the conversation moved on to other topics as he criticized what he saw as “the awakening embedded within them.”
Chet, a 67-year-old from Massachusetts, finds it increasingly difficult to build common ground with his family.
“When you talk about politics with your family, the problem is information, or lack of information,” Chet says. He said Trump’s supporters tend to repeat audio “picked from Fox News,” but are less vocal about the Republican politician’s deeper actions and motivations during discussions. “It’s infuriating.”
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They avoid political talk now. Because of this, there was no connection between Chet and his brother. “I love them as family, but it’s so hard to see it through their eyes,” he said.
“Despite the skies darkening due to an impending world disaster, I see the love and compassion they have for each other and for me,” Chet says. It has had a devastating effect on our tolerance for each other.”
When Helen was growing up in an Eisenhower-style Republican household, explosive political arguments caused her uncle to be away for years at Christmas. So her aunt instituted rules that excluded politics and religion.
Helen from Tennessee said, “As I got older, it became harder to keep my late father in check.” What is her strategy to defuse the situation? “I started telling him that his late mother wouldn’t agree.”
In some families, irreconcilable differences in values and opinions have completely torn relatives apart.
Rita, 66, of Ohio, remembers a more harmonious time before Trump’s 2016 campaign. Back then, “we could gather for the holidays without worrying about politics or other disturbances.” That became more difficult during President Trump’s first term and completely impossible after the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol, she said.
“Now we are completely divided, and some of us don’t even talk to each other anymore,” she said. “There are big differences in what we stand for, so it means we don’t waste time with relatives who can’t abide by the no-politics (rule) at gatherings.”
On Christmas Day this year, Rita will be home alone with her husband, and on other days she will meet with other relatives and friends, members of like-minded families of her choosing.
However, the loss of the sibling connection still brings her great sadness. “I never thought I would see the day when my family would no longer be a part of my life,” she said. “But things kept happening until I realized I couldn’t get around this, I was so devastated.”
