I hate doing dishes. In my house, my partner’s chores include doing the dishes every night, but my chores include literally everything else. But on this week’s Ask Code Switch, I answer a question from listener Shaquille Stewart, who asks, “Who should do the dishes?”
This is not about gender roles or shirking responsibility. It is about expectations of additional unpaid work in the workplace. If no one is “technically” the “dishwasher” in your workplace, then who should wash the dishes and why?
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Code Switch
My name is Shaquille Stewart, and I’m writing this podcast because about a year ago I got into an argument with my then-employer over something very minor (who should do the dishes).
I got this job as one of my first forays into the theater industry. I started as an intern and worked there for a total of 5 years. Washing everyone’s dishes and cleaning the kitchen were not part of my job description, but I did it. However, as the workload increased, suddenly it started to become an issue that the dishwasher wasn’t being emptied even though no dishes were being used.
Needless to say, I am black as hell, so when my boss and supervisors took me into the storeroom to discuss this issue, I felt a bit like a slave, and I told them so. But I stuck with it and emptied the dishwasher to keep my job.
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Though Shaq no longer works there, he still asks himself who should have washed the dishes: Would the same scenario have played out differently if Shaq and his boss had been the same race?
Part of the tension underlying Shaq’s question has to do with how his bosses (both white women) approached the issue in the first place. Having a shared identifier, like race or gender, can create common ground and community. But it can also amplify our implicit biases. “Birds of a feather flock together,” right? “And that’s not just because it’s cute and it rhymes, it’s because it’s true,” says Charis Foster, founder of INVERSITY Solutions.
So who was at fault when it came to these dishes, and why is this situation still keeping Shaq up at night?
Listen now on the Code Switch feed on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Have a question for Lori and the Code Switch team? Send us a question on Instagram @nprcodeswitch. Or email us at codeswitch@npr.org with the subject line Ask Code Switch.
This episode was written and hosted by Lori Lizarraga. It was produced by Schuyler Swenson, edited by Veralyn Williams, engineered by Gilly Moon, and fact-checked by Greta Pittenger. The project manager was Lauren Gonzalez. Special thanks to our content development team for bringing this series to life.