Something terrible is coming. Can you feel it? Election Day (November 5th) is slowly approaching and I can see its head and shoulders stretching out towards the horizon.
There will be a dramatic build-up of hysteria leading up to that day, after which half the nation will be bitterly disappointed and the other half will be ecstatic, and all the while there will be anger, recriminations, frustration, indignation, misunderstandings, harsh words, and hurt feelings, not just among broad categories of Americans but among their own blood relatives.
The sad truth is that the fault lines that run throughout American society run through many homes, with the same terrible effects – and unfortunately, they run through our own homes too.
Already we’ve all experienced those weirdly awkward Sunday dinners where no one brings up any topics other than the weather or how fat the new baby in the family is. There’s always one or two people at the table who will go completely crazy at the slightest poke or prod. And we’re all hoping to avoid the worst of the angry questions: ” Seriously “Are you considering voting for X?”
Reason and logic cannot convince one another that their policies are better and will have a greater positive impact on the public good — or that they have deceived voters, promising enlightened moderation while showing signs of governing from an extreme position if elected. I have found that accusations of ignorance or willful ignorance quickly give way to accusations of callousness, uncharitableness, and indifference to the poor and vulnerable. These hurt. Very much.
I remember times when things were different, when the stakes were less existential, the disagreements more political and less fundamental. Maybe things always look better in retrospect, but everyone agreed on the broad fundamentals. That is, there was some kind of overarching narrative that we all accepted and that united us.
It stated: The family is the foundation of society, children are a blessing and an inviolable future, America has made mistakes but is the greatest nation on earth, and worshiping God is not only good for each individual but essential to upstanding citizenship.
Traditional media employed real journalists to report facts instead of influencing our views. Schools, public and private, taught only the three R’s (reading, writing, and arithmetic), history, and national pride. Everyone understood that freedom of speech was as essential to American prosperity as freedom of association and freedom of religion.
These once unifying ideas no longer seem to be shared between the two of us (or maybe we just don’t share a common language when talking about them). My “freedom of speech” seems like a relative’s “misinformation” and his idea of ”family” seems dysfunctional and irresponsible, rather than a safe haven for babies and other vulnerable people that I call “family.”
An angry relative tells me my fears about diversity, equity, and inclusion are racist (surprise!), but I say my children will be of every color and race, and what I want for them is a colorless society — the great dream of Martin Luther King Jr. Our greatest rift may be the issue of abortion, which to me is the direct killing of the most defenseless human being, and to my opponents is a morally neutral act that ensures women’s thriving.
Now you know why we’re obsessed with the weather and baby bumps.
A few days ago, I called one of those people I love but disagree with. I reminded him that God has only given us a short time to enjoy each other’s company. Soon he and I will be gone. And I said that I think we should keep the personal separate from the political, because the personal is what makes our lives worth living.
The smile he gives me when he sees me is something I would not want to lose by an election that decides ephemeral matters that mean little in the grand panorama of eternity. that It is that perspective that matters, and we must not undermine it with harsh words or harsh judgments.
He took it well, in the spirit in which it was intended. He told me that my smile means a lot to him and he’s not going to let it go no matter what. We agreed that even though we disagree, we’ll love each other like family, through this election and the next.