Dear Abby: I recently reunited with a colleague from work. We were friendly, but not what I would call friends. We reconnected on social media and had lunch several times. The problem is that she became a very negative, aggressive and angry person. s
He spends his time beating over his family, his former colleagues, and almost every service professional she has met. She refuses to stop talking about politics, despite what I made it clear I wasn’t happy with it.
The first lunch was bad, but I thought I’d give it another shot. The second lunch got worse and I decided not to reach out or make plans again. Then she made a comment. She said she didn’t have many friends.
After a few lunches, I can’t continue with it. I’m trying to remove the negative effects, but part of it is family and I don’t have to spend time with this individual. If she reaches out again, should I continue to make excuses until she gets the hint or should I be honest? I’m somewhat afraid of her because I see how she beats people and know that she beats me to others we know. – Wrong in North Carolina
Dear false: There is no reason to be uncomfortable for a woman with this problem. Start getting busy when she contacts you. Date her, “If your schedule for this month is too full, how about next month?” Stop her if she starts hitting others. Smile and say, “Let’s talk about something else. Something fun.” Then, for a longer period, continue doing less and less available. When it gets harder to reach frequently, she eventually loses interest.
Dear Abby: My wife stands with me and I adore it. I have a challenge. I was involved in a front-facing car accident 15 years ago and have suffered many long-term injuries since then. I can do most of the things I want physically, but not all. I’m taking medication due to brain problems that remain from the collision and can get mad without many warnings.
I have been treated both family and individually. I exercise, meditate (but not as often as I need it), take medication to stabilize me, and have reminders in various places about things I shouldn’t.
I buy my wife’s flowers quite regularly and often keep them playful. I also take care of our special needs son. Would you suggest I do to help her know that I adore her? – The lucky guy in Florida
Dear Lucky Man: Your wife probably already knows. But when you jump off the steering wheel, show your affection and tell her every day you love her and how bless you are blessing that you have her in your life, it conveys the message you want to convey.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Please contact Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
