Can love survive political differences? Whether you’re single, dating or married, politics has a way of sneaking up on relationships. How do you deal with it?
That’s the question we asked you for Valentine’s Week – and you delivered. We have heard from readers across the country on both sides of the aisle about how they navigate politics in their relationships and continue to live their love. Some write that they ignore politics or engage in selective listening, while others instead focus on what they have in common. But for some, it’s a bright red line that says, “Don’t get into a relationship.”
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Even if you vote differently, you have more in common than splitting you
The most recent election was the 11th one held during our marriage. We haven’t always voted the same way, but our views are consistent in most things. That was what brought us together in the first place, and that bond has grown over the years. We respect each other’s opinions and are not involved in the discussion solely to discuss the issue.
If it’s obvious that she feels differently about something I am with, I generally let it drop. Unless it’s a problem that directly affects our household, then we’re always looking to solve it and find a viable path.
First and foremost, respecting others is the best advice I can give. They are entitled to receive their opinions just as you are yours. Don’t forget that opinions can be changed. However, principles should be the foundation of your own life and your relationship. Be prepared to discuss the matter honestly, but respectfully. Open your heart. Please do not tolerate any other kind of caustic comments, snide comments, or other types of caustic comments that we all see on social media.
Remember, in most cases, even if you vote differently, there are more commonalities than there are differences. So you’re with me in the first place.
– David Tindel of Birchwood, Wisconsin
He looks at Fox and I see CNN
I am in a relationship and agree with some political topics, but we disagree with others.
We don’t watch the news together – he sees Fox, I see CNN. We try to talk about topics, not parties. Mostly, we try to find humor in situations. If that doesn’t work, we avoid talking about it.
My advice for couples in similar situations: Must have humor and respect. When your opinions conflict, know when you should stop talking. He hates sin, but he loves sinners!
– Monique Lamphire of Loveland, Colorado
You cannot “consent to oppose” the basic human decency of love
I honestly didn’t date anyone with a different political view. While it’s one thing to oppose taxes and zoning, the recent disagreement of the party sadly has been about basic human rights and common sense and open unbiased bias, science vs. conspiracy, compassion and greed. It is supposed to be. I honestly couldn’t love anyone who voted for President Donald Trump. In that respect, it is impossible to compromise.
I definitely agree that politics today is less superficial than foreign policy, taxes and infrastructure. Politics is about whether women, people of color, the LGBTQ+ communities and immigrants should have the right to human rights and protection. I was able to date someone who might oppose immigration policy, but who doesn’t want to separate the child from parents in a cage.
I was able to date people who couldn’t imagine themselves in same-sex or in relationships with trans people. I couldn’t date people who thought those people didn’t deserve to be there. Of course, we couldn’t find love, be dealt with respectfully by the pronouns of our preference, or use a bathroom that we felt safe.
I was able to date someone who opposes abortion and doesn’t choose it for myself or my partner, but a pregnant woman dies from being denied abortion or a doctor being charged with being charged. I couldn’t tell me it was okay and did it.
I think it’s easy to find love with people with similar hearts, but I live in a very blue state so I might be biased. I generally think it’s easy to guess someone’s political affiliation within a short time to talk to someone. And we see that parties have very different topics of hobbies, mannerisms, and favorable conversation.
I don’t think older generations, including parents, understand why we don’t agree, but once again they tend to fall into politically conservative range. They demand a compromise on our values immediately, but are sacrificed when asked to acknowledge other perspectives (say “happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” for example (They claim religious persecution). I think they’re frustratingly hypocritical.
It’s a shame for me that politics is so polarized. But in my mind, the acceptable level of human decency can be heard by asking someone’s preferred political party within a few seconds to let me know if I value myself as a human or an incubator. It’s also a shame.
I saw a meme that resonated with me about this topic. It was like this: “Don’t agree is reserved for pizza pineapples. It’s not basic human decency.”
I find common grounds with people who have different opinions. But the clefts between what each party thinks morally acceptable is so vast that it is exactly that – the clefts – do not have a common ground.
– Reina Shank of Wilton, Connecticut
Opposition may attract, but you cannot move distances when it comes to value
“Can the relationship with political differences survive?” Opposition may attract, but they are not lifelong partners. The more you have in common, the less conflicts there will be.
If one person is on the centre left and the other is on the centre right, then it is not far from each other that it is impossible to compromise. There is no problem.
But if one person is progressive and the other is MAGA, your relationship will be doomed unless you take a blood oath and sign a written contract that swears you will never discuss politics. Masu. Still, it’s only a matter of time before you realize that you two are actually very different in many other ways. Perhaps for money, you are ignoring the truth, hoping to protect a rotten marriage, your children or social failure, and attempting to marry at your poles of the opposite in the first place I hope there is no.
Otherwise, a house divided into itself cannot bear it. You can trick yourself into believing that everything will go well, but if integrity is one of the cornerstones of a strong union, your illicit days are coming together. – Wes Dixon, Orlando Park, Illinois
I made my boyfriend think he was right. It’s easier than arguing.
I have a relationship with someone and we are total political opposition.
I made my Republican boyfriend think he was right. It’s easier than arguing with him. He is not educated and resents people who went to university. Because in my heart he is truly envious. He comes from a family where no one goes to university and many people don’t value education.
We have a son together and cultivate our children’s kindergarten learning experience. My hope is that my boyfriend sees value beyond these kindergarten years.
– Vero Wolkow, Redondo Beach, California
You don’t have to agree with everything, but some “politics” are more
My spouse and I agree with some political topics, but not with others. We try not to express our opinions personally. When the problem is emotionally cumbersome, we avoid it. We are church-going families, so we have a more holistic view of secular issues, especially when they divide.
Please discuss your opinions quickly and frequently. The difference is that you can have a fundamental personal or religious bottom tone in other parts of your life, so it is essential to work early on in compromises and boundaries. You don’t need to agree – but it is essential to understand and respect their position and opinions.
– Buddy Wood Tarton, Waconia, Minnesota
