Joel Souza, the director who was shot on the set of “Lust,” starring Alec Baldwin, said in a recent interview that he was “ruined” by the incident, speaking emotionally in public for the first time about it.
“When I tell people it ruined me, I don’t mean it in the way that people typically think,” Souza told Vanity Fair in an interview published Thursday. “I don’t mean it ruined my career.”
“So, internally, who I was was gone,” Souza added. “It just stopped.”
Baldwin was rehearsing a scene on the set of a Western in New Mexico when a prop revolver he was carrying accidentally discharged, killing 42-year-old cinematographer Halina Hutchins and injuring Souza.
Baldwin was charged with manslaughter, but a judge dismissed the case on appeal last month, agreeing with arguments by the actor’s lawyers that prosecutors suppressed evidence that may have been linked to the Oct. 21, 2021, fatal shooting.
“Lust” weaponsmith Hannah Gutierrez Reed was found guilty of manslaughter and sentenced to 18 months in prison.
In a wide-ranging interview with Vanity Fair conducted over Zoom the day after the Baldwin trial abruptly ended, Souza explained that he decided to complete “Lust” in part to mourn Hutchins and honor her memory.
Halina Hutchins was killed and director Joel Souza was injured in Santa Fe while filming the movie “Lust.” Red Haze/Getty Images file
“I knew that the film would bring financial benefit to Halina’s family when it was completed, and that’s very important to me,” Souza said. “It might sound corny to non-creative people, but it’s her last film that matters. It’s important that people see her last film.”
Souza said he believes Hutchins is destined for greatness in Hollywood.
“She should have been in a major studio movie, not something on our scale. She should have been in a $100 million movie, not a $7.5 million movie. Everyone who worked with her knew what a talent she was and what kind of person she was,” Souza said.
Souza said “panic chaos ensued” after a prop gun went off on the set of “Lust.”
“It was louder. It sounded like a gunshot you hear in the movies. If you’ve ever heard a quarter-and-a-half bullet. [blanks] “It’s a little loud, but it makes a puff-puff sound. It sounds like a cap gun. It’s not eardrum-busting,” he said.
“But this sounded like a Magnum, the gun from ‘Dirty Harry’ going off,” Souza said, referring to the Clint Eastwood film.
He vividly remembered the sensation of being hit by the bullet.
“It felt like a horse had kicked me in the shoulder or hit me with a bat,” Souza said, repeating the words he used in his testimony at Gutierrez Reed’s trial. “The whole right side of my body went numb, completely paralyzed, but at the same time I was in excruciating pain.”
“It was like everything was tingling and numb and in terrible pain at the same time, and then I stumbled backwards, fell to my knees and onto my bottom and just… screamed. I don’t know what I was screaming about,” the director told the magazine.
He felt disoriented, his ears were ringing and he felt like he was watching panicked crew members running around through the camera lens.
“My first thought was I was so angry. I was furious at that moment. I remember looking up and they were putting Halina down to sit in front of me and there was blood coming out of her white shirt,” he said.
Alec Baldwin following the death of cinematographer Halina Hutchins at Bonanza Creek Ranch in Santa Fe, New Mexico on October 21, 2022. Santa Fe County Sheriff’s Office, via AFP – Getty Images File
In the hours after the shooting, he said he didn’t feel particularly grateful to be alive.
“I remember very clearly that night going to bed and hoping I wouldn’t wake up the next morning, hoping I’d just bleed to death overnight because I didn’t want to be here any longer,” he said. “It was a very difficult moment. I remember thinking, I just wish I could bleed to death. That would be just fine for me.”
“Lust” was completed in March, and the team is working to secure distribution in the U.S. In the film, Baldwin plays an aging outlaw who goes on the run with his grandson after being sentenced to death for an accidental murder.
When asked about her relationship with Baldwin, Souza said, “It was a tough thing to get through. We got through it. I was able to perform the way I wanted to. We’re not friends. We’re not enemies. There’s no relationship.”
Souza told Vanity Fair that the scene Baldwin was rehearsing when the gunfire rang out will never see the light of day.
“It just completely disappears,” he said.
