There are many liberal and single women in the post-Trump election world. It’s not enough that modern dating is already a minefield. Boring apps, nasty handhelds (if we get there), and eternal “who, who, who, who?” argument. Now, on top of that, I need to wonder if the person across from me would vote in favor of my basic human rights. And the worst part? That’s not always clear.
A proper case: Love is the blind season 8, where two couples disbanded at an altar surrounding politics. Especially black lives and abortion rights. Seeing it unfolding, I couldn’t stop thinking about my date deal breaker. And I would have made the exact same decision, but probably made it on the date.
Let’s start with Sarah Carton and Ben Metzenga. Dates for their pods? Smooth. Frivolous. Full of laughs (must be for the first chemistry). For a while I even thought there would be a shot for them to go all the way. But love is blind isn’t just about the vibe in the pod. It’s about finding a life partner. The whole premise is that love can grow on its own through conversation. Sarah took this seriously. She asked meaningful questions, shared her beliefs, and showed genuine curiosity about the value of her future fiance. She then nurtured politics in episode 4. He pointed out that she couldn’t be with anyone who didn’t believe in LGBTQIA+ rights, especially as her sister is gay.
Ben’s response? He is completely comfortable around “that community” of people. He even has gay friends! And what about black people’s life issues and political affiliation? He sat in the 2020 election and said, “I’m not in any way. I’m just a bit eschewing it.”
sorry? I tried it and couldn’t come up with a better example of white male privilege. Ben lives a free life from politics because he can. Unless he participates in one way or another, as a white man he can continue to enjoy his civil rights and thrive without facing the truth of American life. He doesn’t need to challenge himself as to whether he is actively supporting the anti-LGBT church. If he is not interested in the issues of black life, he does not need to tackle racism or police brutality. And in Peak’s white feminist style, Sarah got engaged to him anyway. (But the point of saying no on the altar. I support you.)
Unfortunately, this wasn’t the only thing that political indifference fought through relationships this season. In episode 12, Devin Buckley and Virginia Miller had creepy similar problems. This time it wasn’t until they got engaged that the cracks began to show. As a black man, Devin implied that race did not consider his vote decision. Then he shrugged when the topic of abortion came up.
I hope you’re surprised. But honestly? This is exactly where we are in 2025. And Devin doubled his indifference at the reunion, saying, “I can see past certain things. I think you can relate without agreeing to everything.”
It’s easy to say, your presence is not for political debate at the moment.
As an interracial woman, I can’t ignore the politics of dating. I cannot “consent” my rights. I can’t overlook someone’s indifference and pretend that it doesn’t affect me when a woman is dying due to a lack of abortion care. The truth is, for many marginalized people, politics is not just a discussion, it is personal. It’s life or death. And as a longtime New York City singleton and dating app survivor, I understand why women can’t show political issues in their relationships “the past.” I’ve never swiped left before when I looked at “Maga” (or “Medium”) into someone’s bio.
Now, in the US, the government is actively trying to deport green cardholders to protest on major campuses. Trans rights are being developed. Access to medical care for relief (not to mention health insurance) is under attack. Certainly, the two-party system is messy. And yes, I understand why some people are disillusioned with voting. But are you dating someone who’s politically liberated? That’s tough for me.
This is not a harmless difference of opinion. I could see past the fact that my partner thought La La Land deserved to beat the moonlight at the Oscars. I was even able to navigate the slightest ideological differences. But if you expect me to show the “past” the fact that you don’t believe in my basic human rights?
Yeah. I won’t marry you either.
