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In 2022, the Supreme Court’s Dobbs v. Jackson decision overturned Roe v. Wade and encouraged parents to have conversations with their children about abortion, one of the most controversial topics in American life. My daughter, who was 10 at the time and was not familiar with the topic, was exposed to the media frenzy and asked, “What is an abortion?”
When I was a kid, the answer to a question like this wouldn’t have been, “I’ll tell you when you grow up.” But with nearly every child having access to the internet at their fingertips, vague answers are no longer enough. Kids are curious and will ask Alexa a question or Google Search for an answer without you having to give it to them.
I explained the basics of pregnancy that she already understood and explained abortion as a medical procedure to end a pregnancy. We discuss various beliefs about when and if abortion is acceptable, and we discuss the laws in our home state of New York and the fact that access to abortion is severely restricted. We compared the laws of Mississippi. This led to a discussion about federalism, and I broke it down in terms she could understand. That is, how states can enact different laws based on local political opinions and legislators.
My goal was not to impose my opinion, but to give her the tools to think critically about the issue. Like so many other moments in parenting, this conversation wasn’t about giving her the “right” answer, it was about asking questions and guiding her to see things more broadly.
Talking about abortion and political topics can be daunting. But with at least 10 states putting abortion bills on the ballot in the 2024 election, and presidential and vice presidential candidates being asked about the issue in multiple forums, children will inevitably be exposed to these terms. You will come across concepts.
In today’s polarized climate, parents often feel incapable of understanding these important topics with their children and simply choose not to. But these discussions are unavoidably important. The responsibility of raising an informed and engaged citizenry lies with families.
Parents shape how their children perceive politics. They may learn the basics of civics in school, but conversations at home are where children begin to truly understand and navigate the wider world around them. There, they learn that politics isn’t just what’s on TV or what happens in Washington, D.C., it’s something that affects their lives and their futures. And because parents focus on what high-stakes political discussions should be before their children reach voting age, they only get four or fewer presidential elections. .
My high school registered students to vote and drove them to the polling places.
Here are three strategies to make political discussions with your kids more meaningful during election season.
First, recognize your role. Children look to their parents to understand the world, including politics. Family is their first teacher. Not because families have all the answers, but because they can model the importance of coming together to explore questions about government and politics. If children see their parents avoiding political topics because they feel uncomfortable, they will avoid them too. But by approaching these subjects with curiosity, children learn to question, debate, and seek different perspectives. These skills are useful in all areas of life, not just civics.
Second, suppress negative thoughts. Parents and others tend to think negatively, especially when talking about politicians they dislike. But constant disrespect for politics and government can dampen children’s desire to participate in civic life. Why get involved if all you hear is how broken the system is? Instead, model productive political debate, respectfully disagree, and respect different points of view. I’ll teach you.
Third, humanize government. Don’t make politics abstract. Introduce your children to people who represent them, such as attending local events and writing letters to elected officials. Show politicians that they are approachable and that their work has a direct impact on the lives of their constituents. These interactions help children see government not as a distant, faceless entity, but as real people trying to solve problems (and sometimes failing).
It is the parents’ job to help their children understand that politics is a part of life. Raising children who are ready to shape a better political landscape requires navigating these conversations. So when your child asks, “What is abortion?” or “Why do I vote?” — don’t ignore it. Don’t think they are too young. We welcome conversation. It may be difficult, but it is a necessary step in developing the next generation of engaged citizens. They are the heirs of American democracy. Make sure you are ready to lead to a bright future.
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