NEW YORK (AP) — There’s no better place to spend the holidays than home. And that may not necessarily be a good thing.
In the wake of a highly contentious and divisive 2024 presidential election, the upcoming Thanksgiving and winter holiday season in full swing may be a boon for some – families and By coming together, we can take a break from larger world events. Loved ones. We spent hours and even days with the people who played the biggest role in our lives. A new chapter of lifelong memories.
That’s one scenario.
For others, it’s frightening at the same time, especially given the polarizing presidential campaign. There can be disagreements, harsh words, hurt feelings, and loud voices.
In the increasingly complex 21st century, those who study people and their relationships are finding that there are things people with potentially difficult personal situations can choose to do and avoid. states. You can get through this period with a minimum of public conflict and a chance to get to the point of the vacation in the first place.
Honestly assess your situation, all things considered.
If you feel strongly about the outcome of the election and know that the people you’ll be spending the holidays with feel equally strongly in the opposite direction, are you ready to spend time together at this moment? Take the time to honestly evaluate. Weeks after Election Day, emotions are still running high.
The answer is probably not, and it might be best to take a break, says Justin Jones Foss, author of I Respect: How to Have Difficult Conversations in a Divided World. says.
“You have to assess your own readiness, and everyone is very different in this regard,” he says.
He emphasizes that this is not a permanent setback. “It’s that moment that we’re talking about right now, because it’s still so fresh. Christmas could be different.”
Don’t miss out on the whole holiday picture
Jones-Foss says to stay focused on why you wanted to participate in the first place. Maybe it’s because you have a relative you don’t get to see often, a loved one is getting older, or your child wants to see a cousin. Keeping that reason in mind may help you get through this period.
Set boundaries
“While we have decided that gathering together is the best option, and while we know politics remains a dangerous topic, we have set a goal to make the holiday a politics-free zone,” said Karl Pillemer, a professor at Cornell University. , we should stick to that.” Research on family separation.
“Does anyone ever change their mind in a political conversation?” he says. “If there’s no chance of changing someone’s mind, we should create a demilitarized zone and stop talking about it.”
don’t take the bait
Let’s be honest. Despite our best efforts and intentions to keep the holiday gathering free of politics and drama, sometimes there are people who have something to say and are determined to say it.
If that’s the case, don’t get caught up in it, says Tracy Hutchinson, a professor in the graduate clinical mental health counseling program at the College of William & Mary in Virginia.
“Not getting on the hook is one of the most important things, but it’s difficult,” she says. After all, you don’t have to participate in every discussion you’re invited to.
Think about what will happen after the holidays
If you’re at risk of getting caught up in the moment, consider engaging in what Pillmer calls “forward mapping.” This includes thinking not just about the current moment but also from a medium- to long-term perspective, i.e. thinking strategically rather than tactically. Perhaps imagine yourself in six months’ time looking back at your dinner and thinking about the memories you want to leave behind.
“Think about how you want to remember this holiday,” he says. “Do you want to remember that your brother and sister-in-law went home mad because you argued for two hours?”
Don’t feel like you need to be there undisturbed
Are things getting intense? Defuse the situation. Please leave. And it doesn’t need to be a fuss. Sometimes staying calm and cool may be exactly what you and your family need.
Hutchinson says: “If they start doing things like that, they might say, ‘I have to make a call. I have to go to the bathroom. I’m going to take a walk around the block.’
