This essay is based on a conversation with Ruth Fuhrman. It has been edited for length and clarity.
At 57, I continue to work as the president of my own public relations and digital communications firm after my husband, Michael, retired, and intentional communication and flexibility have helped us navigate our relationship.
In 2001, I was laid off from my consulting position due to a company restructuring. I took the layoff personally because I had thought I would be there forever. After I was laid off, I received job offers from other companies, but I knew none of them would give me the flexibility or excitement I was looking for in my career.
I took control of my career
Shortly after I was laid off, I decided to take a leap of faith and start my own company, ImageWords Communications. I knew I could do it without going to business school. I worked hard, but my company grew organically over the years after I got my first client.
Michael and I recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. We met in 1997 through a friend of his cousin’s and mine. At the time, Michael was already living in Las Vegas and I was living in Chicago. Before we met in person, we kept in touch via email and phone. Then, I flew to Las Vegas for work and we had a whirlwind first date weekend.
Michael worked on Wall Street earlier in his career but retired from his job at a Las Vegas casino sportsbook in 2019.
Having just turned 70, Michael will soon be receiving Social Security, and we have planned for his retirement by determining the minimum amount of money I need to make from my business to sustain us without his income.
Even though Michael decided to retire about 18 months before, retirement came quickly.
I love my job and I enjoy mentoring young people.
I really enjoy my work in my business and giving back to young people through business and outside of business through mentorship. I often advise college students, give presentations and sometimes hire students to help me with special projects. I also mentor people who have been laid off, which is common in the media industry. I have always wanted children but don’t have any of my own. However, mentoring young people in the business world not only brings me great joy but also energizes me.
What I love about my current job is the flexibility it gives me, as I can work from anywhere, which allowed me to work remotely from Indiana and help support my mother before she passed away.
We have different schedules, so communication is important.
However, my work hours can be a bit erratic at times. I often wake up around 4:15am and work across multiple time zones to accommodate my clients. Michael’s schedule is more structured. He usually follows the stock market during the week, as he likes to follow it on podcasts and TV. He also likes to manage his investments.
He also goes for a walk every morning with his sister who lives very close to us. My schedule affects the time I spend with Michael as well as with other family and friends. However, he is very understanding of my schedule and I try to take breaks with him during work. When I have a break at 3:30 pm, we have afternoon coffee together.
Prioritizing communication and flexibility has helped us build a successful relationship. My husband retired five years ago, and it’s only recently that I’ve been able to communicate effectively with him about his work schedule, so it’s taken time. For example, there are times when I’m working from home and he’s watching a TV show about the stock market and the volume is too loud.
Instead of assuming he knows I’m working, I’ll go into a quiet room and close the door, or if he asks me a question or tries to get my attention while I’m in the middle of doing something, I’ve developed specific hand signals to let him know I’m working.
When Michael first retired, I fell into the trap of thinking, “Oh, you’re retired, so of course you’ll be performing certain tasks instead of saying I’m working. Can you please run this errand for me?”
When it comes to household chores, we’ve found that we each gravitate toward what we’re good at. Not only am I not good at emptying and loading the dishwasher, I don’t like doing it, so that’s usually Michael’s job. I’ll do it if I can make the time, but we also enjoy doing things together, like grocery shopping.
Although I’m not ready to retire yet, even though I’m in my 50s, I would like to prioritize my personal life, hire as many people as I need to meet my obligations to my clients, and live a semi-retired lifestyle.
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