Dear Abby: I have a friend of 40 years. Over time, we drifted apart politically. This was fine until recently. Now, when we get together, they yell about my political choices. At first I tried to defend my position, but they yelled at me. I then explained that I didn’t want to talk about politics, that I respected their right to have different opinions, and that I wanted them to respect my opinion. It only works temporarily. The same thing will happen next time we meet. It’s like they think they can convince me if they all talk at once. They can’t do it, and I’m not going to convince them.
It’s gotten to the point where I don’t feel comfortable being with them anymore and they’re meeting without me so obviously not with me. I’ve made new friends, but 40 years is a long time and I’m lonely. Is there nothing I can do except pretend to agree with them? I don’t. — Disparate problems in New York
Dear problem aside: Just as there is nothing an old friend can do to convince you, and vice versa. We are already at a stalemate. Politics aside, these friends are yelling at you and ignoring your wishes. For your own sake, it may be time to take a step back and cultivate friends who are more tolerant than they seem.
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