In 1982 I was put in charge of television but from the start I was miscast as television always confuses me.
I still don’t understand why Wally and his brother Beaver had the same bedtime: They’d lie down, argue about how Eddie Haskell was “really gross,” and then they’d both turn off the lights and go to sleep.
And why was the mother of Beaver’s friend Larry Mondello old enough to be Larry’s grandmother?
I felt a similar confusion last weekend when CBS began promoting its “new” NFL pregame show.
If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s this: NFL pregame studios and on-site pregame programming gets less and less valuable every year, as we’re hit with the threat of a show ending or restarting at halftime before the game we plan to watch.
So on Saturday, CBS released a promo featuring five guys marching across the screen — five is all you need or want, but only two or three — for a revamped, 2024 version of “The NFL Today,” with no Phil Simms or Boomer Esiason.
So the half-thought statements of the past will continue, while rookies Matt Ryan, Nate Burleson, Bill Cowher and last season’s addition J.J. Watt will elicit forced laughs, NFL dogma and wish-fulfillment and “I hope the Broncos win a close game” sounds. Pass Around will be hosted by James Brown.
What do you think audiences thought when this promo appeared? “Oh, I can’t wait”? “Now the show is going to be better than ever!”? “Now it’s going to be even more funny, thoughtful and enjoyable!”?
During Saturday’s broadcast of the Cardinals-Yankees game on YES, Michael Kay pointed out something that was sad, but no longer surprising: This was the only game played in the early afternoon over Labor Day weekend. There were also late afternoon and evening games. It’s great that he noticed this.
But Kaye couldn’t finish the thought: MLB’s greed in selling scheduling control, including Yankees games, to TV networks is why baseball gave up a good holiday weekend feel for TV revenue.
Or did Kaye not know that financial difficulties behind the monopoly pay-per-view have caused the Yankees to lose 20% of their TV coverage and dwindle viewership?
The same greed that blinded Kaye to the rows of empty seats behind the backstop at the new Yankee Stadium for the past 15 years — empty seats of what? Where? — was the reason only one game was played on Saturday afternoon.
And on Monday, Labor Day, the final day of rest for children and their families before schools and jobs return to work, the Yankees and Mets played a night game, despite manager Rob Manfred’s insistence that kids are MLB’s top priority.
But Kay continues to try to emulate whatever questionable statistics are thrown his way, except for the subdued exit velocity of DH Giancarlo Stanton, who never seems to care about reaching first base.
As advertised, Juan Soto had a terrible time in right field on Saturday, sending at least one catchable ball over his head, which Kay noted at the time had a 75 percent “catch probability.”
Michael, how is that calculated? Is it an average of all balls hit into the outfield, liners, bloopers, tweeners? Who decides? Are all outfielders the same? Does Soto’s 0% chance of catching the ball on that play count towards his average, the average of all outfielders, or just the average of right fielders? Does it take into account the weather? The sun?
Or was this Kay’s first baseball game, and therefore he was unfamiliar with the nuances and quirks of baseball, making such random data worthless? Why would he do this to himself? Why does he always do this to himself? Let alone us?
Wouldn’t a simple statement like, “He should have caught it” reinforce what he and we saw?
Moving on to the U.S. Open, ESPN’s insensitive and annoying verbal overreach once again made the programming we tuned in to watch tiresome.
Chris Evert and John and Patrick McEnroe have examined every point and will inevitably be found contradicting themselves, and even John Smoltz would have slammed the mute button over his head.
And why is ESPN asking its viewers to enthusiastically root for American Coco Gauff to beat polite, calm, underdog American Emma Navarro?
Okay, so name me the most obnoxious, brutish, egotistical male tennis pro of the last decade.
You can’t go wrong with Nick Kyrgios. He’s the man ESPN chose to be the special guest commentator for the U.S. Open. Why? Because television continues to ruin sports, rewarding the least deserving players at all costs. Why are TV executives so keen to further degrade every sport they touch?
Continuing on the theme of rewarding the least deserving, Fox’s Michael Vick is backing the sports betting business!
He was waist-deep in gambling blood when he received his harsh sentence for running a ruthlessly cruel dog-fighting operation.
But he has appeared in public service announcements to warn kids about the dangers of sports betting. (Just like Roger Goodell!) He has been seen and heard advising kids not to be “fools” with their money. And now…
Oh my, how long will this go on for, or even worse? When will we hear, “Next stop: rock bottom”?
The Scarlet Knights’ quest for the almighty dollar is rotten to the core
Something is always rotten at Rutgers.
The once great academic institution found itself in dire straits, both financially and emotionally, in its quest to play Big Ten football, with AD Pat Hobbs recently resigning for “health reasons,” which turned out to be “inappropriate consensual conduct,” according to RU’s official statement.
Apparently, RU President Jonathan Holloway was either a liar or the last person to know, and responded to Hobbs’ resignation by saying, “I want to thank Pat for his outstanding nine-year tenure at Rutgers, during which he saw the men’s and women’s teams lead and achieve Big Ten success on and off the field,” as well as “enhance the student-athlete experience.”
And it was Hobbs who brought Greg “Clothes Allowance” Schiano back as RU football coach.
Last Saturday, Howard University was paid $425,000 to lose 44-7 at Piscataway, but the stench of forcing season-ticket holders to buy into such a game is even worse.
RU, favored by 36.5 points, led 38-7 and had the ball with seven seconds left, it was time to do the right thing and take a knee, but RU scored to cover the difference.
Howard University coach Larry Scott was not happy with Schiano, no matter the price or the excuse.
For comparison, the $425,000 fine is less than what RU paid to order DoorDash for its football players during the COVID-19 pandemic.The Scarlet Knights athletic department owes the Big Red $265 million, so the school solicits donations each year to help feed hungry students.
Old habits die hard, and an hour into Tuesday morning, I instinctively tuned into WCBS Newsradio 880 to watch the headlines, only to hear someone advertising an upcoming show on ESPN.