It’s no secret that parenthood can be stressful, but some families may be surprised to learn that the U.S. Surgeon General, who is also a father of two, considers it a “major public health issue.”
“In addition to the traditional challenges of parenting – protecting children from harm, worrying about money, and caring for teenagers seeking independence – there are new stressors that previous generations didn’t have to consider,” U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, M.D., said in an advisory on parental mental health and well-being.
He calls for society as a whole to acknowledge these stressors and changes and mitigate their impact through communications and public policies, such as treating parenting as a critical job.
Dr. Amanda Wroten
Dr. Amanda Rothen, a psychiatrist at MUSC Children’s Health, praised the recommendation. She works with children and families and sees the realities of parental stress firsthand. “I think this is a really important topic,” she said.
“That’s really important for children. When parents or caregivers are stressed and having difficulties, that spills over to their children and impacts their functioning and their mental health. It really impacts children.”
Wroten appreciated that Murthy used the example of his own family in his recommendations to show that parental stress is not something to be embarrassed about, but a universal issue.
And the problem affects many Americans: The US Surgeon General said the country has 63 million parents living with children under 18, along with millions of other caregivers. The advisory noted that 33% of parents reported feeling highly stressed in the past month last year, compared with just 20% of other adults.
So what is causing this stress?
Murthy cited several factors:
Common demands of parenting. Financial strain and financial instability. Time demands. Concerns about children’s health and safety. Parental isolation and loneliness. Difficulties managing technology, including social media. Cultural pressures.
Some of the items on that list resonated deeply with Wroten: “I definitely think social media is a big factor, and it’s a topic that comes up a lot among my coworkers and the families that we work with,” she said.
“Technology and social media are constantly evolving, and as a parent it can be difficult to keep up and understand their complexities, especially if you, as a parent yourself, did not grow up with them. We are learning about the benefits and risks of technology and social media in real time, together with our children.”
The learning is ongoing: “We will all have different struggles with how to utilize technology in a way that works for us, including setting limits on technology, which may look different for each family,” Wroten said.
“A resource I really like is the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Family Media Plan, which can help you as a parent demonstrate appropriate use of technology. For example, your family might agree to no technology at the dinner table, no sleeping with your phone in your room, or set aside time when no phone use is permitted.”
Financial stress, another factor cited by the surgeon general as a cause of parental stress, is a common concern among Rothen’s patients and families. He sees patients at all income levels, some of whom may have parents who were among the one in four cited in the advisory who were unable to cover basic needs like food, rent or mortgage payments in the past year.
“It’s always been a huge stressor for families, navigating the financial stress while also caring for their children,” Wroten said.
These days, caring for children has come with another stressor: the pandemic, which falls into the Surgeon General’s category of “child health and safety concerns.”
“It seems to me that parental expectations have changed over the last four years since the pandemic began in 2020. We had our kids out of school at all, and now they’re back to all the requirements and expectations of school. That’s a big change. Anytime you have a big change like that, it creates an environment that creates a lot of stress,” Wroten said.
The Surgeon General’s report didn’t just focus on problems: He proposed solutions to improve parents’ mental health and well-being.
Cultivating a culture where parents and caregivers can thrive
It means valuing parents’ contributions and viewing parenting time as just as important as time spent in paid work.
Providing care for caregivers
Murthy called for social support for caregivers through policies and community engagement, with a focus on practical assistance and emotional support.
Talking openly about parental stress
Discussing parenting challenges can help reduce shame and guilt and increase support, Murthy said.
Cultivating a culture of connection
This can help people feel more connected. Currently, more than half of parents feel lonely, the recommendations say. They call for parents and guardians to come up with ways to talk to each other about their experiences and share their views.
Wroten hopes the recommendations will have a far-reaching impact: “We need more support for access to help not only children but also parents, whether that’s group support, more formal therapy, or resources for parents’ own mental health issues. We need to be able to connect better with parents when they need extra help.”
The Surgeon General’s report, Parents Under Pressure, can be read in full here. The report includes Murthy’s recommendations for governments, employers, communities, organisations, schools, health and social care professionals, families, friends, researchers, parents and carers.
