Did you feel a change of heart? That is mercy!
Some things never go out of style. Kindness is one of them. And science explains why.
Kindness starts with you, for you
First of all, “kindness begins with being kind to yourself,” says Harvard Medical School’s Harvard Health Publishing. The article “The Heart and Science of Kindness” explains how pressure-filled environments make us more susceptible to treating ourselves and, as a result, others unfairly: Does the phrase “email at 11pm” sound familiar?
Not surprisingly, this work, work, work mentality leaves us feeling tired, grumpy, and stressed, and that we can “displace the objects of our anger, frustration, and disappointment that we actually feel toward ourselves.” You may end up giving it to someone else. Guilty? Me too!
Compassion is kindness in action
When someone snaps at us, makes a mean comment, or makes a harsh sarcastic comment, we want to deal with the unpleasantness by saying unpleasantness. But here’s how we can get past this basic reaction. It’s discipline. Yeah. It takes intentional effort and a visit from your higher self to avoid taking bad behavior personally.
As the article asks, “If a colleague who has given you curt responses to questions or harsh critiques of projects has recently learned that a family member has a serious illness, you should Why don’t you relax a little?”
Did you feel a change of heart? That is mercy! And that’s what we can do. When we consider the other person and their invisible pain, we can more easily let go of attacks on ourselves and respond with concern. For example, sincerely asking someone about their day. Or brighten it up with your favorite cookies or flowers.
Of course, this requires effort, but it is also good for us. Science says so.
Just observing acts of kindness can make you feel better
While a study isn’t necessary to test this, Harvard University recently conducted a study by researchers Lee Rowland and Oliver Scott Currie in which individuals practiced intentional acts of kindness every day for a week. It cites a study that measured happiness before and after a seven-day experiment. It showed that we can improve our own happiness and that kindness is not biased.
It doesn’t matter whether we are kind to friends or strangers, we will be happier. And it’s not just about seeing someone be kind. When a grocery shopper runs out at the register, you might notice someone handing over a few extra dollars.
Be kind both inside and outside
If you haven’t experienced much of this lately, allow me to share this Hullmark-esque holiday story.
We all may know someone who is experiencing grief over the loss of a loved one during the holiday season. Last month, that insidious sadness tried to enter my family. One of our members lost his best friend a week before Christmas. They were inseparable and each other was the center of their lives.
When it became inevitable to put this 13-year-old dog out of his suffering, his heartbroken owner had one request. It’s your last supper, In and Out Burger’s unseasoned baby patty for your pet. This is a simple but important requirement that must be met, right?
Unbeknownst to us, the vet appointment was in the morning, before the In-N-Out opened. As I sat in an empty parking lot outside a burger joint at Interstate 17 and Carefree Highway, I cooked up a puppy patty for the most important dinner of this grieving relationship. I thought I had to make an effort to hold it in my hand. Isn’t it easy to call the store and ask? I was prepared to pay 10 times the normal amount for a single patty.
Unfortunately, the only phone number I could find was an 800 number. Doesn’t your heart sink when you imagine a circus of robotic systems, long wait times, and forwarded calls when all you have is an 800 number?
Miraculously, every time this 800 number rang at In and Out headquarters, perhaps even in the North Pole, a nice woman answered the phone. Immediately and directly! Panicked and saddened, I quickly explained the situation. She said, “Let me hold it.”
Hmm. Interestingly, those words can take away your hope.
But within seconds, the door to the In-N-Out Burger I was trapped in swung open, and a smiling, politely uniformed employee greeted me from the car window. And I was no longer on hold! I was given the name of the manager inside and directed to come inside.
As soon as I entered, the kind young manager gently asked me how many Pappburgers I wanted. While holding back my tears, I was able to whisper, “Please, just one thing.” He answered: “I already have two on the grill, is that okay?” There’s no charge. ”
You don’t have to hold back your tears anymore! Within minutes, he carefully wrapped it and served it on a cardboard tray with love and a warm smile.
Now, in my experience, In-N-Out Burger has always been at the top of the food chain’s customer service on normal days, but on this day, their busy employees had to stop work and go outside before opening to the public. It appeared on. He will show you his smile in full view. Their kindness and concern for a dying pet and a grieving family moved me to tears.
Since that day, I have shared that story of compassion with many people. I also went back later using the drive-thru (anonymously) and purchased an In-N-Out Burger gift certificate for a holiday gift or birthday present.
There is power in acts of kindness
An unexpected act of kindness will live on in our hearts. They have the power to heal, soothe, and transform a season of sadness into a season of gratitude, even if it is not directed at us. And in business, research shows that we want to buy products and services from companies that practice kindness.
As we begin the new year, we would do well to remember that kindness is good for us and good for business. Science says so. FBN
Bonnie Stevens is FBN’s editor. She is a career journalist and public relations consultant. She can be reached at bonnie.stevens@gmail.com.
