Air Miles: How do you get as much time as possible away from the country you’ve fallen in love with? Jump on a plane. Mr Starmer has already made 16 trips abroad in less than six months since joining the company.
Sausage: The Prime Minister shocked the world stage by accidentally using his biggest speech yet calling for the ‘sausage return’ from Gaza. Tough crowd!
Operation Early Dawn: A bold plan to win over skeptical Brits by releasing criminals early from prison. Labor has accused the Tories of years of mismanagement of prisons, while hardened criminals have vowed to pop the champagne cork and vote for Starmer forever.
D-DAY: The low-key anniversary seems like the perfect time to give a sneaky TV interview and lament about growing up without satellite TV.
Defection: Faced with defeat, Conservative MPs suddenly realized they loved high-tax, high-spending Starmer after all.
Butehouse Agreement: According to 4D chess experts, Scottish First Minister Humza Yousaf boldly broke this agreement with the Scottish Greens, ending his career in style. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
Sue: Gray is an all-powerful, all-knowing chief of staff who just needs a name and will 100 per cent guarantee Labor will have the upper hand in government.
MORGAN: McSweeney, the all-powerful, all-knowing chief of staff who will replace you is enough in name and will give 100 per cent Labor the upper hand in government. Honesty.
