By Matthew Gagnon Thanksgiving season is here once again. I think politics and religion should be discussed at the dinner table. That’s clearly counterintuitive advice.
Written by Matthew Gagnon
It’s Thanksgiving season again this year. I think we should discuss politics and religion at the dinner table.
That’s clearly counterintuitive advice. Most Americans have heard someone tell them not to do something like that, especially at a gathering of a variety of people like Thanksgiving, so it’s very likely that it would provoke an attack. It’s easy.
Etiquette manuals from the 18th century frequently advised people to stay away from topics that could lead to heated arguments in certain situations, including (but not limited to) politics, religion, and money. Mark Twain is often credited with popularizing this sentiment when he said, “Politics and religion should not be discussed in polite company,” but there is no evidence that he actually said this.
The reason for this advice is obvious. Bringing up sensitive topics that highlight differences and stir passions is likely to lead to angry outbursts, raised voices, and ensuing arguments. no one wants that. So it’s best to avoid the topic and keep things even.
But is it really the right decision?
Personally, I don’t think so. In our lives, people have different values, perspectives and opinions. That means we need to work through those differences in a healthy and productive way if we are to live together. If we are interested in keeping the peace and simply trying to avoid our differences, then we are not actually dealing with each other, we are distancing ourselves from each other. is.
My preference is the opposite. We should face our differences and deal with them. That’s why I say we should take up politics. Talk about Donald Trump and Kamala Harris and whether you’re happy or sad about the next four years. Bring up religion. Talk about your zeal, atheism, or general confusion about what you believe. Please raise money. Talk about how difficult it is to pay for college for your children, or how you’re struggling with unemployment. Please bring anything. Tell me about everything.
The trick, of course, is to do it like an adult. If you’re a Trump supporter and you’re arrogantly touting his victory to your liberal friends, trying to make them feel stupid and small for being on the losing side, you’re doing it wrong. If you were a Harris supporter and you start lecturing and yelling at Republican families for being fascist sympathizers, you’re doing something wrong.
Be reasonable. Be logical. Be thoughtful. listen. Try to understand other people’s perspectives. Please react wisely. Please be mature. Act like an adult, not an impatient, emotional child.
Interestingly, etiquette experts have more nuanced views than the mundane advice we quote to each other, and their views tend to match my advice. In her 1922 book Social, Business, Political, and Family Etiquette, Emily Post emphasized that such topics should be approached with caution as they can cause disagreements. . It can’t be completely avoided, but it should be considered carefully. She said these subjects can stir deep-seated beliefs with passionate arguments on the other side, but they can also stimulate lively conversations.
This is a healthy attitude because our politics, religion, and other related subjects are core aspects of who we are as humans. Refusing to talk about them takes away the ability to talk about who we really are, making the rest of the conversation cheap and empty.
But more than that, the idea that, on a fundamental level, it is not only possible to coexist with people who see the world differently than we do, but that we can accept them because they have the right view. I think I need to get more used to it. A world different from ours.
We are all married to our beliefs. I know for sure it is. But do I really want a world where everyone agrees with me? Am I really interested in a life where nothing is discussed, nothing is discussed, and nothing is challenged? Is it? Is it really good for me to have only one type of person in my family and friend group?
I think most of us would admit that such a life would be bland and boring, and that things would be better because we were different.
So this Thanksgiving, pass out the turkey and its stuffing, feel free to throw out the Trump name, and see what happens. Trust me, it’s okay.
Mr. Gagnon, of Yarmouth, is chief executive officer of the Maine Policy Institute, a Portland-based free market policy think tank. The Hamden native previously served as a senior strategist for the Republican Governors Association in Washington, D.C.
