The bitter fruit of disconnection from the world | Mumbai News

About three months ago, I was speaking on a college campus to a group of 17- to 20-year-olds about careers in psychology, and one of them asked me: “What is the secret to not having trouble in life?”

I was a little surprised by the question and how eagerly the rest of the people were waiting for my answer. I was dismayed to learn that so many young people struggle with bitterness and the complex emotions that follow. Previously, I wrote on these pages that midlife, between the ages of 40 and 60, is a time when most people begin to reevaluate their lives and realize the bitterness that life has imposed on them. . However, this was the first time I had heard of young people harboring bitter feelings as they looked ahead to their whole lives.

Global research shows that young people around the world are suffering from a loss of hope and social connection. These factors, along with mental health challenges, have led to feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and sometimes bitterness. Many factors led them this way, but one big reason is the pandemic. Young people in therapy often talk about feeling robbed of some of their most fulfilling formative years and robbed of time, opportunity, and autonomy. A 22-year-old customer said: “My parents were very strict and I wasn’t allowed to have sleepovers, talk to boys, or even go to friends’ houses. Once I got to college, I wanted to know what freedom felt like. But I had a virtual graduation ceremony during the pandemic. Right now, I’m feeling anxious, cooped up, and overwhelmed. I’m not sure about going out into the outside world and making friends. Phones only make things more difficult because no one wants to meet and talk anymore.”Advances in technology, the cost of mobile data and social media. has changed the landscape of how young people socialize and find love. When I was on the campus mentioned at the beginning of this column, I was shocked to see that most students were eating alone on campus, wearing headphones and looking at their cell phones. There didn’t seem to be any space to meet new people or bond over lunch. Even though the campus was full of students, I felt lonely.

The culture of fear and uncertainty we live in is exacerbating the suffering of young people. While the gig economy is on the rise, job insecurity and constant comparisons about the lifestyles of others on social media are impacting young people. The self-imposed pressure to achieve fame and success at a young age affects their self-esteem and worldview.

Working on and learning about things we can control is an antidote to anxiety and low mood. Learning to contribute to the lives of others, even if it’s in a small way, demonstrates the power of gradual change. It is important to build programs across schools and universities that teach young people coping strategies and give them a toolkit to manage their moods and seek help for mental health issues. These institutions can foster support groups where young people can engage in social initiatives, discuss their challenges and successes, and find solidarity, support, and comfort. When I was young and struggling with despair, I often turned to plays, books, and movies. The more people lean toward grounded optimism, the more it helps them cope with bitterness. After all, isn’t adulthood a process of trying to figure out how to hold on to hope, make deep efforts, and overcome cynicism?As a society, we ask young people: It is your responsibility to find a constructive way to engage with real life and give yourself the appropriate tools to deal with the challenges that life poses.