As Thanksgiving approaches, Americans across the country are preparing to play soccer, eat, and spend time with friends and family. Most years, especially during election years, I’ve silently hoped that the holiday wouldn’t be tainted by the inevitable divisions and awkward tensions between relatives that bring politics into the conversation. If you’re like me, you’d rather be blindfolded and tasked with removing a live turkey than be forced to sit between two families having a heated argument at the dinner table. Probably.
“Please, for the love of God,” I thought to myself as my uncle began to speak. “Please don’t bring up Donald Trump.”
But after spending the past few months watching my friends and family throw scathing political slurs at each other on the internet, I’ve gained a new perspective: We can bring politics to the dinner table. Maybe I should bring it in.
We live in an incredibly tense time in history, where people choose to block people who hold beliefs that differ from their own, rather than clarify their own views and actively listen to alternative views. I feel more comfortable with it and ridiculing it. There is more than one basic belief system. Under our two-party system, this country’s set of political beliefs has been successfully tribalized into two distinct camps.
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Political views can and should change throughout any person’s life based on the introduction of new knowledge and experiences. Most Americans do not agree 100% with a particular candidate. This nuance should be discussed respectfully.
If we are unable to break bread with those who share our blood, our nation will become even more divided. Having disagreements among citizens and discussing the future of the country is an important part of democracy.
If we want to return to normalcy, we need to try to find common ground among our fellow Americans.
time Pew Research Center asked Americans to describe politics in one word79% said they felt negative, with the most common response being ‘divisive’ at a whopping 8%. Additionally, 65% of respondents said that thinking about politics makes them feel “exhausted.” An overwhelming majority (84%) say political debate is no longer respected.
These feelings and emotions override geographic location, political affiliation, and other demographics. Most Americans are dissatisfied with the regressive nature of politics and political debate. Avoiding conflict only increases resentment and misunderstandings.
“Many people expect that talking about their feelings will be confrontational,” said psychologist Jenice Vilhauer. new york times. “That psychological expectation makes people want to avoid things that are unpleasant.”
new American Psychiatric Association poll About one-third of Americans say they expect to have heated discussions about politics with their families after the election. One in five (22%) say conversations about controversial topics make them anxious, and even more (27%) say they enjoy hearing different opinions.
In my personal experience, I’ve been able to find common ground and openness among most of the friends and family I’ve had political conversations with. Whether I agree with you on every issue or not, I left the conversation considering a different perspective on the issue, or a new argument against myself that I needed to consider and defend. In order to have these conversations, you don’t need to have similar opinions; you just need to be willing to listen to what others have to say.
Yes, I understand that not all families can have respectful conversations. Also, it may not be worth risking your mental health to get involved with an emotionally explosive relative. So perhaps that conversation is not with a particular relative, or even at the Thanksgiving table. Maybe it’s in a coffee shop with a friend, or during lunch with a colleague, but I believe these are conversations worth trying.
It’s easy to tell the difference between “other”. It is more important that we find common ground among fellow Americans and begin to look at each other with respect and empathy. This starts with communication.
I remain a firm believer that most Americans truly want what’s best for our country. Even if opinions differ as to what exactly that is now.
