This Christmas tradition will forever change the way your family celebrates.
The 4-Gifting Rule is a simple Christmas tradition that makes gift-giving less stressful and more meaningful for everyone. Read on to find out how it works!
Here’s the story behind why we started the 4-gift rule…
When I became a mom in 2010, I started doing what moms used to do: over-shopping for my kids.
I used to believe that the more gifts I had, the more joy I had, but I quickly learned that this had the opposite effect.
Christmas can quickly become dominated by frivolous gift-giving due to unconscious habits such as “I didn’t buy enough,” “Just one more present,” and “I have to even it out.” Or you may simply fall in love with a new, trendy toy that’s popular. The reason it hits the market is because the joy doesn’t last long.
The photo above is from Christmas 2012. It was just eight months after my second son was born. There were presents packed under the tree, all for my two sons. I spent so much money that I didn’t have a single yen left. Still, I remember feeling so proud when I put the last presents under the tree, knowing my boys would wake up to a “magical” Christmas.
I felt empty deep inside and extremely stressed about the financial burden I had chosen. I was a very young mother living on one income and knew I couldn’t afford to keep this up. I didn’t want to continue this. As you know, when you buy too much, you set expectations for yourself and others. In most cases, such high expectations lead to unnecessary stress for you and your finances.
I love giving gifts…but what I’ve realized is that I love giving gifts with intention.
So I had the idea to start the 4 Gift Rule…
I tried this minimalist idea for a few years, but I still found myself making all kinds of excuses for not getting started. “My kids still believed in Santa. They’re still too young. We’ll do it again next year. It’ll be easier when they get older.” etc.
Fast forward to 2017 (yes, Christmas is 5 days away 😳) and I finally put the four gift rules into practice. There are no excuses. There are no “ifs,” “ands,” or “buts.” I knew I deserved the stress-free and simple Christmas season I so eagerly look forward to every year. More importantly, I wanted my children to have realistic expectations and a new sense of appreciation.
Starting the 4 Gift Rule was the best thing I ever did for myself and my kids.
Can you imagine the idea of giving just four presents to each child?
This tradition may seem shocking to those who are completely over the top, like I used to be, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen parents ask their kids on Facebook or Instagram what to get them. yeah. You already have everything…🤔.
All I can say is that starting this tradition is very freeing. I also love that it has made me think more deeply about every gift I give.
The four rules of gifting are:
Want a gift – be it a popular video game, a dollhouse, a play kitchen, or this season’s hottest new trend. Gifts you need – Bath amenities, new bedding, or even an expensive item you didn’t buy, like a fancy electric toothbrush. WEAR Gifts – Makeup, new sporting goods, apparel and more for your favorite team or movie. Reading Gifts – Be it educational, college textbooks, inspirational wall art, or something interactive.
I also included one more gift. Something you do, and sometimes as a bonus gift to all the kids, is a “shared gift.” This is usually a family game or something that involves the whole family.
My children still enjoy Christmas just the same. In fact, they like it the most right now.
Last year, out of curiosity, I asked my kids where they liked to celebrate Christmas the most since we celebrate Christmas in multiple homes. I expected them to say they were talking about grandmas who are known for their excessive gift giving (what kid doesn’t like that?).
I was shocked when they told me that Christmas was their favorite because they all got the presents they really wanted or needed. Most notably, they mentioned how we always had time to eat French toast casserole before flying to another family’s house later on. It’s the little things, guys! 🥹
After five successful years, I have never been more confident in my decision to start this life-changing tradition and encourage others to do the same.
Tip: When making your Christmas list, encourage your child to list several different options for each of the four gift rules. That way, you’ll be surprised come Christmas morning. To get them something too.
This is the tree from Christmas two years ago, when we implemented our fourth year of gifting rules.
The 4-gift rule will put less pressure on you and your wallet. As you can see, our tree still looks magical. We only have 4 gifts for each of the 5 people in our family.
This new tradition may also allow you to splurge on gifts that you wouldn’t normally be able to afford or wouldn’t buy if you had a lot of money to spend on other things.
Here are some more surprising benefits of the 4-Gift Rule.
Holiday shopping just got easier. You may end up spending less. When everyone receives the same amount, it creates a level playing field. Children will start thinking more seriously about what they really want. It encourages gratitude. Children become more appreciative of what they have. Christmas morning will be less hectic and more fun. Once everything is unpacked, there will be less cleanup to do. Let everyone focus on what really matters during the holidays. Don’t feel bad if other kids don’t get “as much.”
Plus, it can still be very fun and magical.
As I mentioned above, I love giving gifts, and since the amount per person is minimal, I can put so much love into wrapping and coming up with creative ways to gift.
Above is a Hangman game that I wrapped up in a big box for my oldest son last year. At those words he was taken to our mudroom where his new bike was waiting for him. It was his greatest gift, but it really felt like two exciting gifts rolled into one.
Another way to make the 4-gift rule fun is to gradually place each gift under the tree over the weeks or days leading up to Christmas morning. It gives children a sense of excitement and anticipation as they look forward to what will happen next. In fact, it’s one of the things my kids look forward to most about this tradition.
Last year, I wrote some fun poems for my son as a “shared gift,” which just so happened to be his biggest gift of the year: a homemade skate ramp. I wrapped each one in a big box and sent them around the house until the last poem surprised them. Again, to them it felt like multiple gifts rolled into one.
Needless to say, it went perfectly with their “wanted gift”, a new scooter. 😍 I also love that coming up with creative ways to wrap gifts gives you more time to enjoy unwrapping them. When Santa only gives you four presents and a pair of socks, things move very quickly.
Speaking of Santa, do you also do that when you start the 4 gift rule?
This is probably the most common question I receive regarding this rule. Whether or not you receive a present from Santa is entirely up to you. As for our family, yes, Santa still comes to our house, but it’s very minimal.
I keep his presence alive in our home because my daughter still believes in him. I fill my stockings with practical and affordable items so that they don’t weigh me down, and if the gift comes with accessories, I sometimes include them as well. We also leave unwrapped presents from Santa under the tree for our little followers. That way he won’t seem to miss our home. 😉
If she doesn’t believe, the Santa tradition will be abolished, but she will continue to save the stockings for practical items that children need. Again, it’s up to you how you want to incorporate Santa into your Christmas.
The options for your family’s 4-gift rule are endless.
Over the past five Christmases, we’ve been able to make so many wonderful memories thanks to our new 4 Gift Rule tradition.
“Do-Gift” is often my favorite and quickly became the thing my kids looked forward to most as they grew up. Some of their favorite activities we have done include NFL games, skiing, paintball, and a Disney on Ice show for my daughter. These are usually the types of gifts we also ask for from relatives, so you can continue to keep gifts to a minimum. Last year, Grandma surprised us all with a very magical trip to Gaylord, D.C., less than a two-hour drive from our house, for Christmas.
Honestly, I imagine that eventually as they get older, we’ll just be gifting experiences because we enjoy them so much as a family.
Most of all, I’m very proud of my self-discipline. 👏🏻
For the first few years, I struggled with the temptation to buy “more” because I never felt “enough”, but I always told myself that what I had was enough. Now, that doesn’t even cross my mind.
I’ve also adopted new shopping habits over the past few years, like not wandering down the toy aisle and doing almost all of my shopping online. This allows you to stick to only the items on the 4 gift rule list.
As a tip, I organize my list by gift type in an app on my phone and always mark what I ordered ✅, what I received 📦, and what I wrapped 🎁 with fun emojis. I’m so happy to have added the final emoji to the final gift! 🙌🏼
Christmas is really special and meaningful (in more ways than one) to my family right now, so I encourage you to give it a try too. As a bonus, cleanup is minimal and you have plenty of time to enjoy a delicious Christmas morning breakfast together. ❤️
Below are comments from readers about their experiences with the Four Gift Rules.
“We’ve been doing this for five years! They’re always happy with what they receive, they can go on a family vacation every year with just four presents, and they always look forward to the Christmas trip. ” – Dawn.
“It makes it so much easier, but also so much harder, because you really think about what you’re getting. It’s a great tradition in this over-consumer America. We don’t buy things just to buy things anymore! I’m living my life and it’s a beautiful thing.” – Shell.
“We’ve been doing this for two years and we love it. “My kids have been so spoiled and it’s my fault, so we try to control it. I don’t want people to think of Christmas as just a gift.” – Shaundra
“We’ve been doing this for a few years now and we love it. It really cuts down on random purchases. We still pack Christmas Eve with fun and jam.” – Samantha
“We do this!! I’m a single mom of 4 kids so this not only saves me on the budget but also helps me even out the presents. The kids love it and especially Sometimes the surprise is lost, but sometimes I look forward to getting what I asked for in each category.” – Karen
“We started doing this at home four years ago and it has made the holidays so much more fun.” – Tracy
Help children create lists using these reader-suggested techniques:
“When you have kids make lists, have them list in those categories. This is a good lesson about their needs and wants.” – Mary
“When you do this, the board will be divided into four categories and the kids will be able to add to the list. This will encourage them to think seriously about gift ideas. My Kids are 14, 13, and 8, and thankfully I have no complaints about this.” – Brandy.
Ready to give it a try? Check out the free printables below.
If you’d like to try out some of my custom Christmas traditions, I’ve also created a 5-gift rule that you can print out along with a bonus share gift. 🎄
Here are some other great gift ideas shared by our readers.
“I give my children three gifts: 1. Something they want. 2. Something they need. 3. An experience – could be a sporting event, a concert, a Broadway play, or swimming with dolphins.” ” – Sarah
“We are past 4 We’ve been doing this for years and love it, but this year everyone is responsible for purchasing an experience for the whole family. My 12-year-old son wants to treat his family to the Nutcracker movie. My 6-year-old son wants to have an art painting night, my husband and I are each planning a small weekend getaway, and the grandparents still spoil the kids, and Santa wants to do it. She still stuffs my socks for me.” – Rosette.
For many people, Christmas should be a season of joy, unity, and celebrating the birth of Christ. We all have the option to spend it on our own terms, so make the most of your vacation. No matter how you decide to celebrate this year, make it memorable, be grateful, spread joy, and surround yourself with those you love.
Merry Christmas to all Hip2Savers! ❤️
Our shopping list has all the Christmas sales.
