It used to be that a political disagreement was just that: a disagreement. It was not uncommon for politics to come up at Thanksgiving dinner, and if someone disagreed, the topic was dropped and the conversation moved on. Unfortunately, things have changed today.
When Donald Trump ran and won the 2016 election, our political culture began to change. To many, Trump was outspoken and outspoken. This caused many to dislike him. However, this same attitude led many others to love him. This change began to permeate the network news cycle, and people began sharing their opinions, even disagreements, across social media.
What was once just a disagreement between two people is now played out online in front of millions of users, and the hurt can run much deeper. Nearly one in five voters in 2022 said politics have hurt their friendships or family relationships, according to a New York Times/Siena College poll, and I’ve experienced this firsthand.
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Recently, I was having drinks with a friend and we started talking about politics. Within 10 minutes, the conversation had gone from zero to 100 and we had concluded that we couldn’t talk about politics if we wanted to remain friends. We just didn’t see eye to eye for our own personal (and legitimate) reasons. We were able to acknowledge that and admit that we didn’t agree. Unfortunately, it seems some people take more extreme measures when it comes to estate planning.
Remove a beneficiary from your will
Recently, I had several clients come in asking me to remove beneficiaries from their trusts and wills. At first glance, this isn’t unusual at all. Life changes and people need to adapt. I get that. But what I began to learn was that people were making these changes after they found out that their beneficiaries didn’t share their political beliefs. Some even completely removed these people from their lives who they had once intended to leave inheritances to. I hired me as their lawyer to help fulfill their wishes while talking to them, with the hope that they might reconsider.
I’ve worked in this industry for over 30 years and I’ve never seen anything like this. This is a time when our country is divided and connections with loved ones and friends are severed. This polarization is pulling us away from the people who are a part of our lives. Our ability to share information on a massive scale has led to misinformation, false assumptions, and ultimately generalizations that alienate people.
We are all entitled to our opinions and to vote for who we think will do the best job. That is why we must respect each other’s differences. Hateful comments on social media or heated arguments with friends are unlikely to change the way someone votes, but they can damage relationships. We all have personal reasons and circumstances that influence our votes. As you prepare to vote in November, remember that behind the political parties are real people, and it’s okay to disagree. It’s not worth losing people because of politics.
Take a Step Back
If you are considering changing the beneficiary solely because of political values, we recommend that you remove yourself from the situation entirely. It can be tempting to jump into action, especially when emotions are running high. However, beneficiary designations are important and should not be an impulsive decision. Allow time for cool down before taking action.
We also encourage you to think about your relationship in broader terms: Why did you decide to include them in your estate plan in the first place? This reminder might give you a second thought.
Choosing a beneficiary is not a decision to be taken lightly. Beneficiaries bear a great deal of responsibility to ensure that your final wishes are carried out. In this role, beneficiaries should put your best interests first. Of course, these designations can be updated and changed over time, but things can get complicated, especially when unexpected, life-changing events occur.
As you make your choice, remember that communication is key: tell your loved ones how you feel and listen to what they have to say — you might find some common ground after all.
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This article was written by, and represents the views of, a contributing advisor, not of the Kiplinger editorial staff, whose records can be viewed with the SEC or FINRA.
